Whenever someone goes missing or dies unexpectedly the news outlets always use THE WORST photographs of the Victim/Deceased. Therefore I would like to officially declare the following pictures be used if I ever follow the same fate.
If I ever disappear /go missing I would like news outlets to use the following picture:
If I ever die unexpectedly I would like news outlets to use this image:
If I ever win the lottery I demand that the lottery board use the following photograph of me:
If I am ever accused of embezzlement or other financial fraud I would like the following picture used to represent me:
If I ever given a political appointment like Secretary Of state or something like that, I would like THESE pictures used:
And if Daniel Craig is ever single again, I would like to use the following image as my Profile pic on OKCupid:
If Rush Limbaugh is ever single again I will change my profile pic from the one above to this one...just to be safe:
And last, but not least, If I ever win a Peabody, Nobel Peace Prize, Oscar, or any other type of award. I insist that the following photo be used:
I don't know if I can make those demands once I has passed on or gone missing, but I do hope that someone out there will respect my wishes. The last thing I want is a candid photo showing my double chin, back fat, or ginormous mole on my jaw to the public at large. I think this is as important as signing a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order. If I am ever found or brought back to life, I will be so totally embarrassed that a crappy photo will be associated with me for my entire life!
I have also made plans with Mr. Sith to pluck the three stray hairs I grow on my chin and to keep my eyebrows groomed if I should ever fall into a coma or am incapacitated to the point where operating a tweezer is beyond my abilities.
Just thought you should know.