Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Agent Provocateur L’Agent Eau Provocateur Fragrance Review


I was asked to review one of the new Agent Provocateur day fragrances.  I was sent  L’Agent ‘Eau Provocateur'. Now in the interest of full disclosure I really, really do not like oriental scents. YSL-Opium, Serge Lutens-Serge Noir, Guerlain-Shalimar, Estee Lauder-Youth Dew, etc.  Those kind of scents assault me.  I feel violated when I sniff them (not in a sexual way, you sillies!).  It's just something about MY chemistry that says NO to Oriental fragrances.  

amber resin

What is an Oriental fragrance?  Oriental fragrances have a typical dominant amber scent.  However their makeup can include musk, resins, wood (like sandalwood) and exotic flowers and spices. Sometimes patchouli is in there as well.  

sandalwood
The Oriental accord in fragrances is the antithesis in what I like in a fragrance.  I like roses, white flowers like Magnolia, Jasmine. I like citrus and green scents too.  Oriental does not suit me.  

Rose
So why did I agree to review a fragrance that is known as a flowery Oriental?  While the original flowery Oriental fragrance of Agent Provocateur may be forever linked with "female sensuality and self-indulgent pleasure for the senses.", there is now a trio of new lighter scents.  This Spring, Agent Provocateur introduced a collection of 3 day fragrances which claim to "capture all the provocative ingredients from their existing perfumes."  But provide a subtle and light alternative of daytime fragrances. 

Bergamot

According to Agent Provocateur L’Agent Eau Provocateur’s scent pyramid is said to consist of:
Top Notes: Bergamot, Leaf Accord (fresh cut green leaves) Mandarin, Apple, Melon and Peach
Middle Notes:  Rose, Jasmin, Tuberose, Magnolia, Freesia and Ylang. 
Base Notes: Musk, Patchouli, Sandalwood and Amber Crystals.

Jasmine

They got me with the "fresh cut green leaves", "Rose", "Jasmin" and "Magnolia".  Why am I putting these words in quotes?  Because they linger for only a few moments before the heady oriental mix of Amber, Patchouli and Sandalwood smother the ever loving life out of them in the dry down.  Now don't get me wrong. I can still detect a little rose gasping for air in between the amber and sandalwood, but this is a much warmer fragrance than I am used to.  That doesn't mean it's bad. It just means that if you like amber-y type fragrances but wanted something a little lighter for daytime, maybe with a nice floral accord, this might be just the thing you are looking for!

Magnolia
When doing some research into this perfume I found this delightful review expert from a press release from Agent Provocateur (Thanks FragrantWitch!) on Now Smell This.  (A great fragrance resources if you ever need one).  This review sounds like it was ripped from the book "50 Shades of Gray". It just sounds so OVERLY sexualized and dramatic.
It said:
"L’Agent is a provocative scent that captures the senses in a flight of magnetic oriental florals, intoxicating amber and erotic musk.
Its potent heart has been captured with captivating ingredients like Geranium Bourbon, Rose de Mai, Jasmin Sambac, Tuberose absolute and Osmanthus. The heart has been secretly nurtured by adding exotic dark secrets in addition to Davana Oil, Baies Rose, Ylang Ylang, Rosewood and Angelica.
The base has been kissed and caressed with the finest and darkest ingredients including Patchouli, Sandalwood, Amber Crystals, Tonka Beans, Rock Rose, Myrrh and Black Incense Musk."

"erotic musk"
"secretly nurtured by adding exotic dark secrets"
"The base has been kissed and caressed with the finest and darkest ingredients"

How awesome is that description?  It's kinda silly, but it's also spot on as far as the scents go.  The description makes me think of some dude in a white lab coat fondling test tubes with his female lab assistant.  She is one of those women that wears thick glasses and keeps her hair in a tight bun.  As she removes the glasses, she pulls out a strategically placed hair pin and a cascade of beautiful, shiny, bouncy, brunette hair falls about her bare shoulders as she has also shed her lab coat is and is wearing nothing more than a garter panties and stockings.  The Lab dude is also one of those pretty people that wears thick glasses but as he removes them, his finely chiseled features, piercing blue eyes and strong jaw are featured.  He too sheds his lab coat and reveals the he is not wearing a shirt.  His Adonis type body is perfectly tanned and his six pack abs have a six pack.  As he embraces her in his muscular arms, it becomes readily apparent that these two are not the real lab rats.  It's so obvious.  How do I know?  Those two idiots are using a Volumetric Flask to heat liquids when they should have been using a Florence Flask!  Plus they were measuring the liquid with a Glass Beaker when they really should have been using a Graduated Cylinder. The graduated cylinder is far more accurate than a beaker.  Everyone knows that! Duh!


The new ‘Eau Provocateur’ Collection from Agent Provocateur is available at Nordstrom and selected department stores. ‘Eau Provocateur’ retails for $70.00  for a 50ml Eau de Toilette Spray.



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16 comments:

  1. I read reviews like this and I am so in awe. My ability to differentiate scents is binary. It's either "mmm, smells good" or "eeewwww, stinky".

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    1. Thank you, but I'm not half as good as reviewers like EauMG and Eyeliner On A Cat

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  2. I'm wit ya sistah! I am NOT an oriental fragrance person at all--it overpowers me, and let's face it--that's hard to do. Give me a soft floral, green or citrus scent and I'm happy. I keep telling everyone I'm a delicate flower DAMN IT!!!

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    1. YES! You and I are scent sisters. We are F*CK*NG DELICATE G*D D*AMN FLOWERS FOR SH*TS SAKE!

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  3. Shalimar is one of my holy grail fragrances! And I adore Youth Dew bath oil!
    However, you and your blog rock so I shall forgive you. ;-) And recommend that you try Hove Perfumeur's Magnolia.
    By the way, the quote you linked from NST is the press release from Agent Provocateur rather than a review from Robin!

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    1. Ah ha! Thank you for the clarification I shall update my post ASAP! And I'm not saying Oriental fragrances are bad. They just don't do it for me. I like the way they smell on other people....sometimes.

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  4. Hahaha, awesome review! I LOVE reading scent reviews. I feel like I have a novice nose, which is slowly developing as I read reviews that break down scent notes. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. I have a novice nose as well. Trust me. You really should check out the perfume blogs I listed in a comment above. They are so beyond awesome at describing scent notes.

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  5. Jeez, why did I read that little erotic tale at the end. Getting a little flustered at my desk here ;)

    I love oriental scents but this one wasn't for me - too sweet, and as much depth as a kiddie paddling pool.

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    1. ♥ I love the comment "as much depth as a kiddie paddling pool." Awesome! And true!

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  6. Haha, I love how your reviews are informative AND hilarious :)

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  7. I just had to comment on this post... since my FAVORITE fragrances are orientals and white flower scents! I love variety so I'm addicted to sampling new scents. Still, I keep coming back to these two categories (& specifically, to these scents):

    **ORIENTAL: Opium - since I first tried it, at sixteen! Hanae Mori Magical Moon too, and several other orientals, & I love patchouli, alone or in a blended perfume.

    **WHITE FLOWERS: Vera Wang for Women & her Truly Pink (a light tea rose-y scent), Kai in summer (so gorgeous - white AND tropical, but hardly delicate), & sometimes Kenneth Cole Black for Women.

    Green, leafy and/or herbal scents honestly just give me instant headaches, and I CANNOT wait for the seemingly endless trend of dessert-y and fruity scents to pass already! Yeesh! Weird how these scents are lovely on lots of people, yet somehow smell like something edible that's a bit past its sell-by date on others ( --> me).

    P.S. Love your blog! I agree with Josie - not only do you give lots of very useful info, you do it so enjoyably!

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  8. I love this post and the part at the end about the lab science guy fondling beakers and flasks.

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  9. That volumetric flask looks like it had erlenmeyers for parents. also, why would anyone heat anything in a volumetric flask? That just does its accuracy bad >.o

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