I didn't think it was possible but a sample subscription box has made me feel OLD!
This May, Birchbox sent me the Gossip Girl Birchbox. I was expecting items related to the core viewing audience of Gossip Girl 16-28 or so. Nope. I got items relating toward the geriatric parents of the girls that watch the show.
As you see the box came with the same fab packaging, as all birch boxes do.
Unveiling the contents I suddenly felt older and older.
What you don't see it?
Let me show you the products I received...which by the way I am actually happy with, I'm just feeling old because of them.
1) Stila sparkle waterproof liquid eye liner in Rock Candy. This didn't make me feel old. I must admit I was very pleased receiving a full size cosmetic item. This is a liquid liner (my favorite kind of liner) in a rich brown sparkle color called Rock Candy.
It's just the liner I was looking for actually. When I wear my liquid brown liner I sometimes want a little more sparkle and this one will do that for me. It looks fairly sheer alone so I plan to wear my regular liner underneath and top it with this one.
All in All. VERY Happy with this item! (Plus it retails for $22 so it's like my box is paid for!)
2. Kérastase Age Premium Bain Substantif and Kérastase Age Premium Masque Substantif. Shampoo and a Conditioning mask for "Mature Hair". Mature? That means OLD. I do not have OLD hair. I'm only 40? Oh goodness. I have old hair! I'm 40! Read the intro to the product description: "As the years go by, it isn’t just our skin that starts to show our age. Our hair follicles become weaker and more porous with each passing year, leading to everything from breakage and thinning to overall dryness and dullness." Oh gawds. I'm OLD! And Birchbox and Keratase think so too! I actually want to try Keratase products. I have heard great things about them and I loves me some conditioning masks. After all, my OLD hair is getting dull and prone to breakage. I'll get to see how this stuff works! (I'm actually very happy with these samples)
But wait, there's more!!
3) Algenist Regenerative Anti-Aging Lotion. Not only am I old. I'm stupid as well! Read the intro to this product: "Science class was never our strong suit back in our school days. Thankfully for us, the folks at Algenist were taking notes. This cutting-edge lotion earns an A+ in combating the common signs of aging." School Days? It's not like I want to school in a one room schoolhouse and we used inkwells and had one book to learn from! And now I didn't pay attention as much as the people at Algenist and suck at science too? (OK that might be true, but still.) ANOTHER Anti-Aging product. Which I actually do want to try. Even though I still am breaking out like a teenager, I am getting the first signs of aging and the Alguronic Acid in this product is supposed to smooth out my skin and help rid my OLD face of fine lines. This is a hefty sized sample so it will last a decent amount of time to see if this lotion does what it claims to do! (I'm actually very excited to try this product out)
4) Dior Miss Dior Perfume Sample. Meh. I like the scent and it does have "Miss" versus Mrs. or Ms. which makes me think they would like to aim this at a younger audience. Of course it could be Miss because they think I'm an OLD spinster living alone with my cats in a house that is floor to ceiling boxes of makeup. One day, one of my cats knocks over a box and they fall on me and I am crushed to death by lipstick and eyeshadow palettes. I am left that way for weeks because I'm old and no one likes me and no one checks on me. As the cats slowly eat away my nose and fingers for food, a curious neighbor stops by and finds my mummified remains under a avalanche of boxes. At least I'll smell good because the "Miss Dior" perfume sample will have been one of the first items that exploded on me when all the other product fell. Or something like that.
5) Birchbox Note Cards - Uh oh. This is treading dangerously close to the Paper Coaster Incident of 2010. Watch it Birchbox! A baby poop green note card and a hot pink envelope are included in this month's box. According to Birchbox the description for these note cards reads: "Whoever said a picture is worth a thousand words didn’t appreciate the value of a handwritten note. We designed this light-hearted stationery for all your important correspondence. Each 12-pack comes with four shades—bright orange, marigold yellow [read baby poop green], deep purple, and forest green—along with a pack of Birchbox Pink envelopes. Now all you have to do is dig up some stamps." Ha. Ha. Only OLD people use stamps! How many times have you been stuck behind some old lady in the grocery store that wants to buy STAMPS when she is checking out? I know I personally have at least once...so that's like...a lot. Plus, who am I going to write a thank you note too? Birchbox?
Thank you ever so much for your thoughtful May Gossip Girl Box. Not only do I not watch the show, I'm old enough to be the mother of most of the people that do watch the show. Thanks for never letting me forget that by including a few products specifically aimed at OLD people. The Shampoo and conditioner for MATURE hair was a sound reminder that my time on this planet is limited. The Algenist Anti-Aging lotion really sealed the deal and led me straight to the nearest funeral home to make plans for my passing. You can never be too prepared! Thanks again for sending me, what is sure to be, the next nail in my coffin!
Yours in Beauty,
Ah yes. Perfection!
This is my THIRD Birchbox, so the time has come to make a decision. Do I keep it or do I quit? Well after much thought (about 2 minutes before writing this review) and much research (looking back at stuff I received in previous Birchboxes) I have decided to KEEP my subscription. I have dropped MyGlam and Beauty Army and don't plan on getting Glossybox so I'm OK as far as beauty subscription services go. I also like the fact that Birchbox has the most user friendly website for writing reviews and purchasing products I have used so far. It also has incredibly FAST shipping for products I do purchase, and I can get points that add up to a discount on future purchases. Yup. I'll even add in a referral link for you all that have been waiting to sign up for Birchbox. It is HERE (referral Link). I'll include a non referral link as well in case you don't wish to give me credit for signing up (which I am totally cool with) HERE (NON Referral Link). I just changed my beauty profile to reflect my "real" age which has been holding steady at 29 for the past 11 years. I'll see if that changes some of the items I receive.
All in all, as much as I "complained" about the box this month. I am really happy with it. It's full of products I have been wanting to try and I'm really OK with all the Anti-aging stuff. I just used it as a way to make the review a little more humorous.
This review contains a referral link. By signing up with Birchbox though this link, you will be giving me "credit" for the referral and Birchbox will reward me with 50 Birchbox points. You can opt out of this by clicking on the link above that reads "HERE (NON Referral Link) or by going to http://www.birchbox.com.