I have a confession. Sometimes, when Mr. Sith isn't at home, I watch TV infomercials. I know. I think I might be the only one that does, but they just suck me in. Especially the ones focusing on beauty like hair care, skin care, makeup, etc. I wonder what it would be like to be in an Infomercial.
(slow dissolve mimicking the standard TV dream/imagination sequence whilst harp music plays)
Introducing the amazing, the incredible Slice-o-matic!
(Cue fanfare music)
TV Announcer Voice
It slices, it dices, it chops and minces. This all in one handy slice-o-matic is made with industrial grade stainless steel and plastic.
(Cue Trumpets playing Ta-Da!)
Not Convinced? Here are some customer testimonials!
(Dissolve to Pink Sith giving a customer testimonial)
Oh yeah. The choppy thing. It's OK. I was chopping onions in it yesterday and it was the first time my eyes didn't tear up while cutting them, so I guess that's cool. Oh speaking of eyes, I really want to tell you about this Natura Bisse NB Ceutical Eye Recovery Balm!
(holds up box of the Natura Bisse NB Ceutical Eye Recovery Balm)
I have tried tons of eye gels and creams. I had one that I loved dearly, but it was fairly expensive and because of the packaging, it was in a jar, it lost it's potency fairly quickly. The Natura Bisse NB Ceutical Eye Recovery Balm hydrated the delicate skin around my eyes, plumped up fine lines, and worked really well under makeup.
(Pan back to TV announcer looking at Pink Sith like she's insane)
TV Announcer - miffed
Thank you Pink! Now, as I was saying...
(Pink Sith steals microphone from announcer and grabs the camera lens to focus on her again)
I wasn't finished.
(gives TV Announcer death stare and shows the Natura Bisse NB Ceutical Eye Recovery Balm bottle to the camera)
This balm has a gel-like texture that soothes and prevents skin irritation. But that's not all. This wonder balm diminishes signs of aging and fatigue around the eye! But wait! There's more! The Natura Bisse NB Ceutical Eye Recovery Balm is said to increase the tolerance of your skin in the eye contour area and it will protects it from allergic reactions thereby reducing sensitivity as well as reactivity. Hold on, because have even more to tell you! The Natura Bisse NB Ceutical Eye Recovery Balm provides your skin with a surge of hydrating comfort that lasts all day! And one more thing! The Natura Bisse NB Ceutical Eye Recovery Balm comes in an airless pump which dispenses just the right amount for each use. I have been using it for 3 months and I really have seen a difference in the skin around my eyes. I was...
(TV Announcer snatches the mic away from Pink Sith and adjusts the camera)
TV Announcer - irritated
Thank you again Pink. Now back to the subject at hand......
(Pink Sith commandeers the mic and camera and starts running with both)
Pink Sith - short of breath
I was skeptical at first when I started using this eye balm, but I saw over time that this has a great cumulative effect. Now this isn't cheap. It costs $95 for 0.5 oz but I found it to be worth the money, personally. You may think otherwise, but that's cool. I'm not the one trying to sell a product, I'm just a customer testimonial. In fact...
(Pink Sith is tackled by the TV announcer, who happens to be wearing a toupee and it is flopped over to one side revealing his bald spot. The TV Announcer and Pink Sith wrestle with the camera and microphone whilst expletives are heard from both parties. Video feed on camera goes in and out mixed with snow and a test pattern. Suddenly the camera transmits a clear picture of a disheveled Pink Sith)
Pink Sith - Breathless
(Pink Sith adjusts her shirt and gives an annoyed look to the now unconscious TV Announcer)
I received this as a sample from Natura Bisse but I fully intend to purchase my own when this one runs out. That's the only down side to this product. Because the packaging is opaque I have no idea how much is left in the bottle. When will it run out? That is a mystery to me.
(Pink Sith smooths down her tousled hair and nudges the unconscious TV Announcer with her foot. He slowly starts to regain consciousness.)
Thanks for joining us today. I hope you enjoyed our program. remember you can purchase the Natura Bisse NB Ceutical Eye Recovery Balm from Neiman Marcus or from Natura Bisse's own website. You can also call my pal Kathy Shoreman at 571-533-4972 with Neiman Marcus and she can help you out with a purchase over the phone and tell you about other products from the Natura Bisse NB Ceutical line.
Yeah. Probably not a good idea that I be in one. I'm not really photogenic and I hear the camera adds 10 pounds.
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